Whether you think of it as work-life balance or work-life integration, the “it” is the degree of control we have in our days.

As a working mother of three, I can promise you that “it” does not depend on how much time I spend in front of the computer. It has to do with my capacity to direct my body and mind to the appropriate locations at the appropriate times. Additionally, it’s about navigating the day without too much wrangling, appealing, promising, or squandering of goodwill or limited paid time off.

This sense of control fluctuates. When your day spirals out of control, you’re yanked from the driver’s seat and told to buckle up. A major, unexpected crisis rarely results in the loss of control, though it can. Even the simplest, most little things become out of your control, like a child spitting up her breakfast or a customer arriving late for an afternoon meeting. Random tiny hiccups have a way of ruining everything that follows. When your day is put together like a house of cards, even the smallest breeze makes you nervous.

When things go awry, we lose that feeling of control. Day after day of this is what ultimately erodes our sense of autonomy.

So how can you regain control after you’ve lost it?

Scrap your “to do” list for the day and pick just one priority action to complete.

If it helps, make a permission slip for yourself. It frequently only takes completing one crucial task to return you to full control. Once you’ve established a laser-like focus on a single task, you can use the following strategies to maintain control over your day:

1. Pull out your annual or monthly goals for a quick review and reminder of why you’re doing what you’re doing.

2. Change your location. If you typically work at your desk, move yourself to another office, room, or public place. The change in scenery can add focus and clarity on what you need to get done.

3. Clear out the clutter —especially if it’s within view of your workspace.

4. Recommit to yourself.A little pep talk in your head can work wonders. Pretend for a moment that you’re coaching a good friend. Notice the positive encouraging language you use with others and apply it to yourself.

The most important element to work-life balance is sustaining the feeling of control over your day. Choosing just one thing might seem small, but it’s an important signal to yourself and others that you’re still calling (some) of the shots.